Can you talk to us more about your latest single “Brand New Soul”? Did any event in particular inspired you to write this song?
For many years I tried to keep my music and personal life separate. I still struggle with how much of my personal story to share but my songs have always been a reflection of my personal life and story. Sometimes I worry about being too transparent. But in reality, I wear my heart on my sleeve.
Brand New Soul is that kind of a song. It’s a very personal story about my many-year-struggle with infertility, which lead me down a path of self-reflection.
After several miscarriages over 6 years, I happened upon a presentation by my friend Jamie Janover, who had been traveling around talking on Nassim’s Unified Field Theory. In Nassim’s Theory, humans are 100 trillion cells made of billions of atoms each, so we are made of quintillions of little black holes. We are all vortexes in space-time, curling to stillness. We access that stillness is by pointing our attention inward, yet knowing we are connected to everything around us.
This put an image in my mind of “a spark of dust”. The universe began with an explosion, as does life. That was very meaningful to me at the time because of the fertility roller coaster my husband and I had endured. The experience had left me with so many conflicting perspectives on what was happening and why.
What was emerging was my ability to be present in my grief but at the same time accept what was happening. Who am I to expect anything from life? I was taking each day as it came and was doing my best.
The losses helped me see how very mysterious life is…what a strange miracle it is to create life. It was so tangible for some and so fleeting for others. What helped me through the tough times was feeling connected to something bigger and more universal than myself.
Any plans to release a video for the single?
Not yet, but I would love to visually match the feeling of this song.